New age Super Heroes

History has shown us that with each passing age a new super hero was born who destroyed evil and let to peace in the world. These super heroes possess "extraordinary or superhuman powers" and dedicated to protecting the public.

We have global heroes like Bat-man, Spider-man, Super-man, Wolverine etc. We also have our local heroes like Hanu-man (he is gradually becoming an international too)

One thing common among all these super heroes is the fact that they were a hybrid entity. Spider+man, Bat+ man, alien+man (superman), wolf+man (wolverine), these interspecies combination has produced superheroes with unprecedented powers. (Please note that I am refraining from speaking anything further on Hanu-man here, as I do not want to hurt the religious sentiments of our cultural policemen. So nobody can come destroy my house or office or even my blogs)

There is a constant effort across the globe to create many new super heroes. We keep hearing in movies that US is working on projects which give immense powers to individuals (for ex incredible hulk). There are many other countries which are in the same endeavor. One such country is our neighbour Pakistan.

According to a Fox News report, Pakistan (the country of the pure) is "top dog in searches for 'horse sex', since 2004, 'donkey sex' since 2007, 'child sex' between 2004 and 2007 and since 2009, 'animal sex' since 2004 and 'dog sex' since 2005".
The country also tops or has topped in searches under the categories of sex, camel sex, and some other unprintables. The Pakistani embassy did not reply to a request for an interview, the report said.

We always talk of Pakistan as poverty struck country, which is dependant on the money given by US to strengthen their military capability. This is a thing of the past now. They are indigenously equipping themselves with superheroes having unprecedented powers.

Spiderman’s uncle once said, ‘with great power comes, great responsibility’. Pakistan’s sense of responsibility is only towardsKashmir.

So be prepared to hear that in the coming days, India will be attacked by these new age superheroes. Headlines will read ‘horseman does a 9/11 on Mumbai, resulting in a property loss amounting to millions.’, ‘there has been another act of destruction by Camel-man in the heart of New Delhi, killing many lakhs of innocent civilians’, ‘Donkey-man launches the biggest attack yet and destroys Bangalore’.

Please note that this is not a religious article. (I am providing the links to the original articles, so that none of you issues a fatwa against me for defaming Pakistan and thereby the religion) Any consideration of physical damage should be directed against the below organizations who initially printed these

Times of India

NDTV

Fox news

Yuss Yumm Yess

Twitter may be the ‘in’ thing among every celebrity today. But on a more realistic front, SMS is the market leader and beats everyone black and blue. Young, not so young are hooked on to appearing in as many inboxes as possible. With many service providers offering free SMSes or charging 1ps per SMS, there is chaotic messaging by everyone.

Somebody sent me an SMS; ‘I knew no beauty, until you appeared. I knew no sweetness until you came. I knew no joy, until you cared. I knew no sorrow, until you left. I know you will come back, and make me love again’… (@#$% &*% $#&# dude, for you kind information I am guy not gay. Sorry to say this but I am not making you love again at least not to me. No way.

There is a total lack of sensibility among many while sending out messages. No wonder I got an SMS which said “Sun glows for a day, Candle for an hour, Matchstick for a minute, But a good day can glow forever, So start ur day with a SMILE… Good night”. It’s always good to start my day with a good night. I sleep walk through most part of my day.

There is a galore of Sardarji jokes (they were already a battered lot but 1 in every 5 SMS has to be a Sardarji special), dirty SMS (age no barrier, sex no barrier) and not to miss the morality SMS (these make me feel like a pig each time). They make a good companion in the loo (I admit shamelessly that I SMS from the loo, deodorized of course.)

Being such a powerful communication tool, SMS has recently helped in solving a murder mystery. Seven years ago Girish, a software engineer with Intel was murdered in front of his fiancée Shubha. This incident took place 4 days after their engagement (I am pausing for a min for you to imagine the ‘Haath ki mehandi’ dialogue from Bollywood)

They were on their way for dinner, when Shubha asked him to stop for a while to look at flights take off and land. Somebody clubbed him with a shock absorber on his head. The shock absorber did not absorb the shock but left Girish in a shock and he died on his way to the hospital. (This is a real story guys, I am not quoting any movie story)

A fast track court has found his fiancee, Shubha, and three others guilty of the act. (Its taken a fast track court 7 years to complete this case. I guess if it was in the regular court, Girish would have re-born again and avenged his death!! Bollywood again.. Yuck Haseena theee, Yuck dewaana thaa.. uska yeh KARZ thaa!!)

She was forced into this marriage and hatched a plan with her love interest Arun (triangular love story.. a la Sangam except that the love interest did not kill himself) Her call records prior to the incident and her SMSes to Arun helped solve this case. This is the first time that such technological evidence has formed the basis for a court verdict.

All I can say is SMS has moved way beyond the loo and found a place in the history books.

The new age Mahatma

Mahatma Gandhi, the most iconic figure in Indian history, dressed to be accepted by the poorest person in India, advocating the use of homespun cloth (khadi). He and his followers adopted the practice of weaving their own clothes from thread they themselves spun on a charkha, and encouraged others to do so.

He also advocated and practiced simple clothing enough to cover the body. That was the story of the past. We now have another iconic figure advocating similar ideologies.

I am talking about our own Bipasha Basu (now if you want to replace iconic figure with enviable figure, that’s up to you.) Being in a country where a majority of the population is under the poverty line, she is encouraging the rich (which also includes a huge percentage of the middle class) to wear minimal clothes. By doing this, the rest of the cloth would be available for the poor to cover their poverty struck bodies (which by the by has 6-8 abdominal packs with a lean mean fit body). This is a very noble intention.

In her fitness DVD, ‘BB - Love Yourself’ she can be seen practicing what she is preaching. She has worn the skimpiest of clothes (which makes many young and not so young men love themselves!!!) People focused so much on her clothes (or the lack of it) that the exercise part of it was overlooked.

Keeping this in mind, Bipasha has launched a clothing line – also called ‘BB - Love Yourself’ (I hope she doesn’t launch a lubricant brand next.) She has not weaved them herself but the weaving has been done by Reebok. Being a national craze already, this clothing line has increased her fan following (even Captain Kool Dhoni was recently seen running behind her on the streets of some unknown city. No wonder his parents decided to get him married).

Keeping in line with her philosophy of save clothes for the poor, we can expect meager/sparse use of fabric. This may also help in reducing the gap between rich (of course, major percentage of middle class) and poor. Price tag on this cloth line would reduce the wealth of the rich and bring them closer to the poor.

Bipasha is heading towards becoming a new age Mahatma.

Good Morning Minister Saar

This is a piece of news that triggered my thoughts recently. I am writing my commentary together with the news piece.

Expressing serious concern over reports about the continuation of illegal mining in the forests of Sandur near the iron ore-rich Bellary district, union environment and forests minister Jairam Ramesh has given a week’s time to Karnataka’s BJP-ruled government to clamp down on the menace. (Good morning Minister Saar! I am very happy that you decided to wake up on this issue. This has been a concern since 2005 and has been a raging issue since 2008 and you decide to wake up today. Its been a long time coming considering that you have been given independent charge of Environment and Forests as Minister of State since May 28, 2009.)

In a letter to state chief minister B S Yediyurappa, Ramesh expressed concern over reports by the media and other stakeholders that mining was continuing in the forests of Sandur in complete violation of the Forest Advisory Committee (FAC) resolution issued last month. (Minister Saar, if you are not already aware then I would like to bring to your notice that the whole mining activity that is happening in Karnataka and bordering Andhra Pradesh is a violation. Even Supreme Court has expressed this in very strong words. Yeddy Saar is not even concerned or bothered about media reports or Supreme Court’s concern. You are being very optimistic that your letter would even get the courtesy of Yeddy’s glance. But you surely informed the media and people that you are concerned. Thank you)

The resolution clearly and explicitly directed that such mining be stopped. “This is a complete and blatant contravention of the FAC directive. As you know that the FAC is a statutory body of the government, I am sure you will agree that violation of its order is a matter of serious concern,” Ramesh said in his letter. (Minister Saar is very poor in his current affairs. Mining barons of Karnataka are Yeddy’s Reddys. They are a part of the Government and they run the show. If Yeddy even looks towards them then they will threaten fall of Government. Poor Yeddy would not want that to happen considering his love for the CM’s seat. Stop bothering Yeddy or he will cry)

“The state forest department will ensure that during the period no transportation of the minerals is allowed,” Ramesh said. (Minister Saar, state forest department cannot even ensure that trees are not cut right outside of their office, how will they ensure no transportation of minerals? If you are not already aware, 5 lakh tones of iron ore under the watchful eyes of forest department went missing from Belekeri port quite recently. That’s 500 crores of national property filling up somebody’s overflowing piggy bank.)

The minister demanded a thorough investigation of the forest offence cases in respect of these mines and to take them to their logical conclusion. “Taking suo moto cognizance of the media report and FAC resolution, I am requesting you to take action to ensure that this is stopped with immediate effect and provide us with an ATR on this by July 10, 2010,” Ramesh said. (Ha.. Ha.. Ha.. Minister Saar, Please stop, you are killing me with your jokes……….)

BANDH: Beer And New Dvds @ Home

The 12-hour Bharat Bandh called by the Opposition parties to protest the fuel price hike and rising inflation disrupted economic activities with commodity markets and the transport sector taking a hit in many parts of the country. The industry pegged losses at up to Rs 13,000 crore. This gets us to wonder if we do that kind of profit everyday. If so, where does it go?
Senior BJP leader L K Advani on Tuesday hoped that the strike called against price rise would put an end to criticism that the opposition was not doing enough on the issue.
"Through you (the media) I would like to thank the people of the country for making Bharat Bandh an unprecedented success. I would also like to thank the people of Delhi and our supporters here for this success," he said.
The question that lingers in my mind is whom did the Bandh actually benefit and in what way? How do we categorize a Bandh as success?
Corporate companies, to whom a 12-hour Bandh would mean loss in millions of dollars, got employees to stay back overnight and continued work beneath closed doors.
Urban educated enjoyed extended weekend (with plenty of beer and DVDs). Students had their day off and spent time on Facebook and videogames. Elderly spent time in family get together.
There were a few who actually did not know the reason for which the Bandh had been called.
We heard of incidents of stray violence, which I am sure was organized to ensure some impact of the Bandh. Throughout the 12 hour period there was a casual calm among every one. Many were glued to the TV curious to see if there are any signs of violence and get updates on Dhoni’s wedding.
Industry leaders including Rahul Bajaj and Adi Godrej have coined the right terms for this Bandh by calling it "odd and absurd". The middle class who are affected by the price rise did not care about the Bandh or about the reason behind the Bandh. The upper classes are not affected, so they did not care. The ones who were affected were the lower classes especially the daily wagers, who are not only burdened by price rise but also by loss of a day’s wages. Ruling Congress/UPA did not care because they want to burden Aam Aadmi for India’s growth. Opposition parties did not care because there is nothing much to gain right now, considering that elections are far far away. Today, these Bandhs and strikes are a pantomime, caricatures of a protest.

Right up to the turn of the century, there were successful movements for bringing down prices, both among farmers and the middle classes. In the ’60s, Bombay housewives came out onto the streets banging their utensils against price rise; a decade earlier, Calcuttans successfully protested against a one-paisa increase in tram fares. The trams are still there but the Communists and trade unionists who led great hartals on economic issues are in danger of being phased out. And in this century we don’t have farmer protests but farmer suicides. D. Raja, the CPI leader who was recently described as the “poorest member” of the Rajya Sabha with zero assets, admits “there is a problem in getting people out on bread-and-butter issues as the middle class that once led the protests no longer does so”.

The public is inconvenienced for a day as a scraggly band of political workers disrupts life but you will not find the commoner joining in spontaneously. There is no expectation from netas across the political spectrum, no hope of relief. Instead, there is a weary cynicism and a tight squeeze on household budgets of the middle class while the unorganized poor continue to fall off the map with their already inferior diet getting even more diminished.
Its more than co-incidence that JP Narayan is not alive today!

Whose crocodile is it anyway?

I read a hilarious news piece and it would be injustice if I did not put it here.

A crocodile carcass has been floating in the Powai lake for more than three days, allegedly because municipal and forest authorities expected each other to remove it.

Powai Lake (named after Framaji Kavasji Powai Estate) is an artificial lake, situated in the northern suburb of Mumbai, in the Powai valley, where a Powai village with cluster of huts existed. (Doesn’t this sound like a tongue twister with plenty of Powais. Powai lake named after Powai estate in the Powai valley where a Powai village existed inhabited by Powai people who made wonderful Powai dosas on special Powai tavas using Powai dosa batter eaten with Powai chutney which goes well with Powai lemonade in special Powai mugs followed by a Powai pan…….)

Coming back to senses, the forest department has now said it would have the carcass removed.

Visitors complained of the stench from the carcass, floating amid the hyacinth since at least Sunday. (Seriously, did we expect a Ralph Lauren special fragrance from a 3 day old crocodile carcass? This lake had a crocodile which is dead but there can be many more. Run for your life instead of enjoying the stench.)

The hydraulic engineering department, which is in charge of the lake, and the forest department, responsible for wildlife in the city, kept shifting the responsibility on each other. (Can any one of you please help me understand, why the hell is hydraulic engineering department is in charge of a lake? What hydraulics can be involved unless you could convert the lake into a cricket stadium by temporarily draining out the water on push of a button and visa versa).

The chief conservator of forest in charge of the city’s wildlife confirmed that he had asked his officials to remove the carcass. “I have also advised our doctors to visit the spot and conduct a post-mortem immediately. The post mortem will prove if the animal’s death was natural and also the approximate day of the death,” he said. (This is where I fell off the chair and rolled all over the ground. In a country where human bodies end up on a dissection table without undergoing any checks for identity or cause of death, here’s a department which is getting a postmortem done for a dead crocodile. How do these people get a job? )

BMC hydraulic engineer said, “Since this morning, we have been running from pillar to post to contact the right forest department persons to pick up the carcass. Now that they have been informed, we will do the follow-up needed after the carcass is removed.” (Engineer sir, if you had not wasted time and paid up a few guys, they would have cleared it for you and saved the visitors from the stench)

Activists were concerned that beautification work could have changed the composition of the lake, suffocating the animals. They feared that the rotting carcass may have poisoned the water. (Beautification must have changed the composition from H2O to H3O. Science has shown us that H3O can be quite suffocating to the animals. Ladies, do you now understand how dangerous beautification can be. By beautifying yourself you could be suffocating an endangered species called men)

Ground reality is, this is the state of affairs in government departments today. A simple case of a dead crocodile has jurisdictional complications. No wonder, they seem clueless on other important issues plaguing the country now.

Blind Justice

Twenty six long years after the gruesome accident of methyl isocyanate (MIC) toxic gas leak from the Union Carbide plant in Bhopal, the district court of Bhopal has finally delivered its verdict. Eight persons, including the former Chairman of the plant Keshub Mahindra (who is next to the CEO of the plant, Warren Anderson), were found responsible for negligence that led to the death of countless innocent citizens of Bhopal. But to the dismay and frustration of the world and the families of victims, the sentence is for a maximum of two years in prison and/or a fine. Adding salt to injury all the seven prosecuted have been released on a bond of Rs 25,000 for each in the same evening of the judgment. The charges framed against the guilty were under Section 304 A of the IPC, that is, the provision used often for traffic accidents. The cruel joke is equating the death of 20,000 innocent civilians equivalent to the offence of a traffic accident. This judgment clearly shows whose side the judiciary is taking and the class interests it is serving shamelessly.

The verdict is a clear sign to the multinational big business firms that there are no limitations of any kind (safety, environmental, labour regulations, profit plundering) for them for establishing industries in India and they can get away with any crimes including murder they happen to commit on the way, that is, without any prosecution.

While this blatant example is staring at us, I would like to rake up some history of a case that shook India and Indira Gandhi.

Justice Jagmohan Lal Sinha of Allahabad High Court passed away in Allahabad on March 20, 2008, at the ripe old age of 88 years. His mortal remains were consigned to flames the same day but he will always remain immortal in the history of Indian judiciary. He was undoubtedly a great, bold, unbending and fearless judge. His courage was unsurpassed by any other judge of any High Court of our country since independence or even prior to that.

Justice Sinha heard the election petition Number Five of 1971 filed by petitioner Raj Narain against Mrs Indira Gandhi, the then Prime Minister of India, challenging her election to the Lok Sabha in 1971 from the Rae Bareli parliamentary constituency in Uttar Pradesh, home State of both the petitioner and the respondent.

The hearing of the election petition took more than four years, concluding on May 23, 1975, and Mrs Gandhi’s election to the Lok Sabha in 1971 was declared void, she was pronounced guilty of corrupt practices under Section 123(7) of the Representation of People Act, 1951 and was disqualified from membership of Parliament or a Legislative Assembly for a further period of six years. There was stunned silence.

Just within 13 days of the historic judgement delivered by Justice Sinha on June 12, 1975, the nation had to go through the trauma of the internal Emergency called on June 25, 1975.

It has also been disclosed that Justice Sinha could not be tempted, he did not submit to pressures. According to Mr Shanti Bhushan, Raj Narain’s counsel in the election petition, “While the case was being heard, the then Chief Justice of Allahabad High Court, Justice DS Mathur, visited Justice Sinha. He was related to the Prime Minister’s personal physician. Justice Mathur told Justice Sinha that Justice Sinha’s name had been considered for the Supreme Court. Of course, Justice Sinha maintained a discreet silence.

Mr Shanti Bhushan has also disclosed that Justice Sinha declined the offer he had made as Law Minister in 1977 to transfer him to the Himachal Pradesh High Court so that he could be elevated as Chief Justice when a vacancy arose.

It is well known that after Justice Sinha delivered his judgement, he was put under constant surveillance of the Government’s intelligence agencies who were trying to fabricate a link between him and Jayaprakash Narayan. The fact is that Justice Sinha never met JP even once — either before or after he had delivered the judgement.

In November 1982, Justice Sinha was invited to deliver the third Jayaprakash Narayan Memorial Lecture at Jawaharlal Nehru University in New Delhi on the topic, ‘The Constitution, the Judiciary and the People.’ In the lecture that Justice Sinha delivered, he stressed on the desirability of a strong judiciary for the survival of democracy in India. He remarked that if the judiciary loses its independence, our political system would become undemocratic. On what is expected of a judge, he added, “A judge wears the robes not to flaunt his authority, but to remind himself that he is the high priest in the temple of justice and is charged with obligations of a most sacred character that he cannot avoid fulfilling, whatever the risks involved.”

Referring to the risk of incurring the displeasure of the executive in being true to one’s judgement and conviction, Justice Sinha remarked, “Let a few heads roll here and there but the chariot of justice must be driven on and on, manned by honest and independent people who will mind no sacrifice too high to keep the chariot moving along its path.” He said that in a republic like India, “the judges represent the people and it is the people’s faith that matters. A silent majority always stands solidly behind such judges who discharge their duties without fear or favour.”

His judgement of June 12, 1975, did the entire judicial system proud. He was a judge of whom any nation would be justly proud of. His indomitable courage and judicial independence will continue to inspire and remind the present and future generations about what he did in upholding the independence of judiciary which is the cornerstone of our Constitution.

India urgently needs many more judges like Justice Sinha or the political system will ruin the country.