Sunday, August 22, 2010

Humaare paas MAA hain

Politicians seem to have developed a new relationship… with foot wear!!!

After an Iraqi journalist became an international sensation by his SHOE-CIDAL attack on former US President George Bush in a press conference, relationship between shoe and politicians was established.

In India, a senior journalist Jarnail Singh kicked off the relationship with a SHOE-CIDAL attack on Home Minister P Chidambaram. Both these journalists were flooded with gifts, cash and even marriage proposals for their match making efforts.

Politicians, who have faced the shoe throwing protests in one form or the other, include Home Minister
 P Chidambaram, Congress MP Naveen Jindal, BJP leader L K Advani and the latest entrant to this elite group is Jammu and Kashmir Chief Minister Omar Abdullah. 

Bellary was witness to a foot wear relationship of another kind.

When in trouble, reach out to the ‘MAA’. Recently concluded Congress padyatra and rally posed a question to the Reddy’s “Hamare paas log hain, tumhaare paas kya hain?”. Reddy’s took a leaf out of Bollywood and replied “Haamare paas MAA hain?” They let the “Maa” call out by inviting her to the mass marriage ceremony in Bellary. ‘Maa’ came running and lent her ‘AANCHAL’ to the battered Reddys. Obviously, ‘Mamtaa’ is a strong bond, especially when your adopted sons are billionaires. Even Advani would have come running, if they had called him ‘MAA’.  

After all the ‘Mere baccho ko tang math karo’, ‘Agar dubaara mere baccho ko tang kiya to main tumhaari Maa ‘Sonia’ se ladungi’ ‘jaon apne ghar ke saamne kelo’ ‘phir se yahan math aana’, Sushma was returning to the car, when she found flowers stuck in her slippers. While struggling to balance herself, she made efforts to remove flowers out of the sandals. Seeing the ‘Maa’ struggling, son Janardhan Reddy emoted “Maa, tumaare chappal mein phool, nahiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii, main is chappal ka khoon pee jaaoonga”. To which the ‘Maa’ replied “jo koin mere chappal se is phool ko nikaalega, woh mere Beta No 1’. Obviously, Janardhan reddy responded to the mother’s challenge by diving to the floor. He took her slippers and tapped them on the ground to dislodge flowers. Maa was happy and blessed the Beta No 1 in pure Bollywood fashion. 

Media was the all the more happy to oblige and make it a very good photo event. It was a message sent not only to congress but also to CM Yeddy. We’ve all known political relationships have been readily available for display especially in this media rich age. But it was difficult to imagine that the display would stoop to the level of footwear. 

Friday, August 20, 2010

MPs: Salary hike

When in school, most of us dream of becoming business man, writer, actor, engineer, or scientist. Today the most sought after profession in India is politics (this does not have to do anything with school as most of our politicians have not completed schooling).

A tour of Bangalore would show case pictures of thousands and tens thousands of wannabe politicians. Aesthetics of Bangalore city is no more trees and flowers but posters of these budding politicians (or social workers as they prefer to call themselves). Serving the poor is a noble profession but if collateral damage of serving poor is becoming crorepatis then so be it. No wonder more than 25% of Indian politicians are crorepatis (officially). Only a small percentage of these crorepatis have earned money by business, rest of them have earned money by serving the poor. No wonder, this has become the most sought after profession.

If somebody did an analysis of the owners of the number of Audis, Mercs, Bentleys, BMWs and high end vehicles of mortal brands like Honda, Hyundai, Chev etc in the country, a large number of them would belong to some or the other politician.

Each day, we get to hear of scandals worth thousands of crores. Each of this scandal has politicians right in the middle of it. When the threshold is set to this standard, our Members of Parliament decide to play a rude joke on the people of the country. They demand a salary hike saying that price rise is affecting them. They fight over a salary hike from Rs 16000 to 80,000. There is criminal waste of public money in the name of adjournment. In the end they settle for a salary of Rs 50000. 

Wouldn’t you rather do a Real estate business and earn Rs 50,000 instead of getting into the cut throat world of Politics, where you are have to throw chairs in Parliament or do some other kind of drama to make your presence felt or to remain in public view. Not to forget the bad name its bound to bring you, considering the crowd you belong to does enough to deserve the bad name.

I am not aware of many Rs 16,000 earners, owning cars. Now with their salary hiked to Rs 50,000, they probably will upgrade from Audis/Mercs/BMWs to private helicopters.

NDTV is raising a funny forum: Will higher salaries for MPs help reduce corruption? It may only reduce traffic on the roads if they start using their private helicopters. 

Tuesday, August 17, 2010

Pinnacle Movie Experience on 3-D

This is the most hilarious stuff that I have read in the recent times. I just could not stop myself from writing about it.

Avatar, the block buster movie changed the movie perception all together. It earned billions of dollars at the box office, becoming the most profitable movie ever made. Its commercial success established beyond doubt that audiences throughout the world love to watch special effects and are ready to accept computer-generated creatures as human beings. It also showed that moviegoers are prepared to wear special glasses for more than two hours to experience the movie in 3-D.

This opened a flood gate of 3 dimensional movies. Alice in wonderland, Hubble 3 D, how to train your dragon, Clash of titans, Shrek forever after, Toy story 3, Despicable me, Step up 3 D are some of the movies that released in 3D ever since. There are many more lined up for release. 

But nothing can beat "3-D Sex & Zen: Extreme Ecstasy", world’s first three dimensional porn film. Brain child of director Christopher Sun, this movie comes from the Hong Kong stable.

I let my imagination run wild but I am just unable to imagine how porn would look on 3-dimension. Pornography is already quite a rage, but 3-D might catapult it to a whole new level. “Silicone” and “MynewsizeTM” had already made the porn industry ‘huge’. 3-D will magnify the whole thing into an augmented climax. No wonder the director quotes "It's not just erotica; they want some 'wow factor!”.
This movie is based on a classic Chinese erotic text, "The Carnal Prayer Mat," the $3 million film follows a young man as he befriends a duke and enters a world of royal orgies and other sexual peccadilloes. The producers are hoping the erotic period drama will prove a titillating hit with 3-D-glasses-wearing audiences and help develop a lucrative, niche film market. This film has attracted the attention of distributors across Asia and Europe.

Anything new not only gets an enormous response but also gets duplicated quite easily.  India is already among the leading baby manufacturers of the world. Movies of this genre will take the baby making industry in India to a whole new level. 

Monday, August 16, 2010


Mahatma Gandhi & Mother Theresa are two of the most inspiring names in India

Kapil Dev, whose leadership won
India the world cup inspired and continues to inspires many young cricketers across India to take up fast bowling. Kris Srikanth who played in the winning team says  "I can say that 1983 World Cup group match victory against the West Indies (on June 9) was the turning point in India's ODI history. And I say there will never be another Kapil in this country and for that matter in the world,"

Then came 2 masters, Sachin Tendulkar & Rahul Dravid, whose wonderful cricketing careers is an inspiration to millions in India and outside to take up cricket. Many young cricketers dream of becoming world class cricketers like them.

Sir M Vishweshwaraiah, inspired many generations to take up engineering. Sir C V Raman, noted mathematician Ramanujam, Rabindranath Tagore, Satyajit Ray, Dhirubhai Ambani, Ratan Tata are an inspiration in their own fields. 

The list can be everlasting. Every now and then, a successful personality comes along, whose actions inspire many. People follow the path of these inspiring personalities.

Our Chief Minister BS Yeddyurappa may not be in the same league as the names mentioned above. But he is proving to be a great inspiration. Ever since he has taken over the “CHAIR” of Karnataka, many people in Karnataka have followed his foot steps. Below is a list of some of the known repeats of Yeddy’s great feat within the state of Karnataka. 

June 2010: 41 year old stunt master Shivakumar murdered his wife by crushing her head using a large stone, as he was suspecting her of having an extra martial affair

August 2009: Toparaj hired supari killers to murder his wife

Nov 2009: Madhuraj slit the throat of his second wife and stabbed her using screwdriver for refusing to have sex with him.

Nov 2008: Manoj Kumar, a Dell Employee, hit his wife’s head repeatedly with a rod till she collapsed. On finding her still alive, he strangled her till death.

Jun 2010: Halaswamy got his wife killed by giving a “supari” to Nagaraj to do the job.

March 2008: Amit (30), employed with Infosys for nine years, smothered his wife Rinku (28) with a pillow, suspecting her of having an affair with a colleague.
Infy techie kills wife, hangs self - Bangalore - City - The Times of India

May 2010: Bijoy Samuel, 31-year old man killed his wife whom he married just six days ago by strangling her.

Aug 09:  Microsoft India employee, Gagan G Hiremath, tried to kill his wife by strangling her

July 2010: Shekar kills wife using a coconut scrapper

Jan 2010: Balakrishna Kakatkar, once a small time blackmailer now famous as anchor of Udaya TV’s “Crime Story” is now accused of driving his wife to death

Jun 2008: Five days after she went missing from Karnataka, the wife of the BJP’s newly elected Udupi MLA K Raghupathi Bhat was found dead on Sunday morning in an apartment in Delhi’s Dwarka colony.

Aug 2010: An NRI tried murdering his wife by beating her up and trying to strangle but she managed to escape.

Aug 2010: Infosys HR Manager Satish murdered his wife by slitting her throat after tying her hands

It is very rare to have a political leader who has the ability to inspire so many people into the path of his deeds. If it had not been for him and the doubtful circumstances of his wife's death, so many men would not have been inspired on the path of glory. 

With a rare combination of ability of public emotiveness, selective memory loss and a political will to blame everything as an opposition attempt to dethrone him (An sms joke says, One day Yeddy had consitipation and he blamed Deve Gowda & family for secretly conspiring to throw him off CM Chair by creating constipation) Yeddy is surely created a “Niche” for himself and a distinction of being an “INSPIRATION BEYOND IMAGINATION”

Sunday, August 15, 2010

Independence Day: Reality Check

I got up today with my usual routine of tuning into some retro hits on TV. Desh Bhakti songs playing in place of regular romantic numbers confirmed that today was Independence day. But not the usual mood, nothing to do with my patriotism but something was missing.

Priyanka Chopra (I wouldn’t want to call her Pig Chops, as the world seems to call her) gave a statement on how she is proud of India, Indian democracy, freedom to do anything and freedom of speech (Priyanka madam, try telling Bombay is the place where I stay), you will be reminded of the reality. I was not feeling as proud though, something was missing. This Independence day was feeling a bit insignificant. 

Its got nothing to do with the fact that there is a big violence happening in Kashmir, with our armed forces making the mistake of tackling the situation in the ways known to them. “An eye for an eye” is not something which our military understands. It probably needs a Munnabhai to tell them, “Woh, Ek Pattar maare, tum do maaro.” Collect all the stones they throw and throw it back on them. Surprise them, this is call “thinking out of the box”.

It has also got nothing to do with the fact that Maoists, (with or without political backing) are running a parallel government in some parts of India. Our governments are not able to do anything because the state governments don’t want to do anything and the central government thinks its outside their jurisdiction. Another Kashmir in the making.

It does not seem to be because of the fact that some idiotic politicians who could not make it big, want to create a separate state and a political ground for themselves. People like cattle don’t mind supporting their cause by putting their lives at risk. I really don’t know what difference it would make to a common man if he is from Andhra or Telegana, he still has to earn his own livelihood. Unlike politicians, who have ready made public money. 

It is also not because Indian cricket team is going to the dogs, in the name of preparing for world cup. Saurav Ganguly did this mistake last time around and paid price with first round exit. Dhoni (who I feel is the dumbest captain India has ever had) and his side kick K Srikanth seem to be making the same mistake again of trying to build to a team for future. World cup preparation is about playing good cricket and winning. World cup victory now seems to be dependant upon whether Dhoni’s luck plays with him or Srikanth astrologer friend predicts well. 

When the brain does not work, it’s the right time for meditation. You connect with your inner self to find answers. So, I spent a purposeful session in the loo, which is when I came up with the answer. I am not feeling as special this Independence Day because its on a Sunday. Any other day would mean, an additional holiday. I am not being unpatriotic by saying this but this is the reality today India wakes up to on an Independence Day. Wish it was tomorrow. 

Saturday, August 14, 2010

Dhoni: 200 crores and counting......

Indian cricket captain Mahendra Singh Dhoni has spoken of the need to get away from cricket. “It’s very important to take some time off,” Dhoni said. I can’t seem to agree less with him. He should not only get away from cricket but also from our lives.

Even an ardent cricket fan is giving a miss to cricket now a days. But its becoming hard to miss Money Spinning Dhoni. Dhoni is currently endorsing 22 brands. Soaps, mobile network, watch, fan, health drinks, newspaper, he seems to be making his presence felt everywhere.

India has never won the World Cup at home. In fact, no home team ever has, not even Australia which had its worst record in 1992 when the Cup was held there. With the disastrous team Dhoni is building and their recent performances, it seems very unlikely that India would even cross first round. There will be too much pressure on the Indian team and Dhoni. It seems all the more good if he keeps away from cricket starting Feb 2011, for a while. 

Film stars or so the story goes, pick and choose the scripts they wish to work with when it comes to films. It's another story that despite all this choosing, the films they end up making are disasters. Celebrities, particularly those who have been signed on in record deals, may not have this luxury. I am sure Dhoni is going to be marketed left, right and centre over the next few months, especially given the fact that the World Cup is going to be held in India next year. So Dhoni may have a very limited say in the sort of brands he is going to endorse.

Imagine the plight of consumers if he endorses another 20 brands. I am letting my imagination run wild in thinking of some options.

Dhoni has never endorsed underwear brand yet. This may be one product he would be endorsing and actually using it. Not that I have am personally sure about this, but just going by the common sense that a cricketer of that level would surely be wearing underwear. He better be wearing one, cant think of dressing room calamity otherwise?

Toilet cleaner is another product, which he is yet to endorse. A cool menthol toilet cleaner endorsed by captain cool would be something to look out for.

Being a youth icon that he is, he should be endorsing I-pill. This is the most favorite pill among youngsters today. It would be most ideal coming from the MTV Youth Icon 2006.

Last but not the least, he should be endorsing a gun and hope that he gets a free sample so that he can shoot himself for the young useless brigade he chose to lead. 

Thursday, August 12, 2010

New Delhi Virus

For quite some time, health care sector in India has witnessed an enormous growth in infrastructure. The private sector, which was very modest in the early stages, has now become a flourishing industry equipped with the most modern state-of-the-art technology at its disposal. It is estimated that 75-80 per cent of health care services and investment in India are now private sector.  This means that a treatment that would cost Rs X would not cost 75-80% more. 

The country can now boast of a number of corporate hospitals. India is a source market for professionals in the medical field for most of the renowned hospitals around the world. The privatization of the medical sector has brought with it five-star facilities and world-class treatments. All business travelers, who would earlier check into the Taj’s and Leela’s  can now consider getting admitted to these hospitals. The level of comfort is the same plus its cheaper than the cost of the Taj’s and Leela’s. Nursing care is an added benefit.

There has been limited growth in the voluntary sector too; however the same cannot be said of the public sector. The physical infrastructure in public sector is woefully inadequate to meet today’s healthcare demands, much less tomorrow’s. Store rooms and toilets of the private hospitals have better infrastructure compared to our Primary health centres (PHCs). 

With a few exceptions, such as the All India Institute of Medical Studies (AIIMS), public health facilities are inefficient, inadequately managed and staffed, and have poorly maintained medical equipment. The ones which are staffed do not hold a high promise of their presence. This can surely fuel in tourism, for people interested in looking at 3rd world medical infrastructure dating back to 19th century.

The principal responsibility for public health funding lies with the state governments, which provide about 80% of public funding. The central government contributes another 15%, mostly through national health programs. I am sure, everyone will agree that government funding and its utilization is always subject to interesting stories. So, I will not dwell much into this.

The number of public health facilities also is inadequate. For instance, India needs 74,150 community health centers per million population but has less than half that number. In addition, at least 11 Indian states do not have laboratories for testing drugs, and more than half of existing laboratories are not properly equipped or staffed. The attitude and response of the staff including that of the doctors is best defined as callous. Clearly, not the set up that can be showcased to the world.

But, we have other set ups to showcase.  India offers at its own doorstep, a range of world quality hospitals and treatments at a fraction of world costs with comparable success rates and service levels directly in proportion to the high value system and natural caring that comes with its millennia heritage. 

Medical Tourism India (Health Tourism India) is a developing concept whereby people from world over visit India for their medical and relaxation needs. Most common treatments are heart surgery, knee transplant and other orthopedic surgeries, cosmetic surgery and dental care.

Indian hospitals are becoming known internationally for standards of health care delivery, comparable to the best in the world. India has the technology and the skilled super specialists coupled with sound infrastructure and professional management, nurses and paramedical staff to take on international competition. 

An added plus has been that India has one of the largest pharmaceutical industries in the world. It is self sufficient in drug production and exports drugs to more than 180 countries.

The flow of revenue via medical tourism was fuelling more growth. This cash flow was eating up revenue of the advanced countries healthcare system. There was bound to be a reaction. It’s commonly said “Everything is fair in love and war”. If there is something apart from women that can cause wars that’s money. 

An international team of scientists has discovered a new superbug in many people who have recently been in India, and they say there are virtually no drugs to treat it.
In a study published in The Lancet Infectious Diseases Journal, the researchers reported a new gene called New Delhi metallo-beta-lactamase, or NDM-1, which they said makes bacteria resistant to nearly all antibiotics, including the most powerful class called carbapenems. Of all the names in the world, they had to name it after New Delhi. They could have called it, Near Death metallo-beta-lactamase or Doomsday Virus or Armageddon Virus or Rambo virus. They could have even called it Osama Virus but they preferred to call it New Delhi Virus.

Lead researcher Timothy Walsh, from Britain’s Cardiff University, was quoted by Reuters as saying that with more and more foreigners traveling to countries like India for medical treatment and cosmetic surgery, he feared the new super bug could soon spread across the world.

This virus is bound to infect the health care infrastructure in India more than the any human being. This is bound to spread fast and infect all healthcare investments. It will purge out all foreign patients and it will stop inflow of dollars, making hospitals Vitamin M deficient.

I would be more interested to wait and watch if the treatment cost to common man would dip, following any effect to the medical tourism industry.

This is also a good opportunity for the private sector to open up a percentage of service and profit to the poor and needy. Whether this will happen? We need to wait and watch..