Friday, February 18, 2011

Open a banking account


There is a a lot of ‘hooplah’ going on about banks (Swiss ones to be precise). A traditional definition of a bank has been “a safe place to store money as well as to make one's money grow”. We could withdraw money at times of need too.

Gradually other types of banks started coming into picture. The not so interesting ‘blood banks’, the hush hush ‘sperm banks’ etc. Though slightly different from the conventional banks, these banks work on similar policy, deposit and withdraw at times of need.

In what could be a revolution of sorts, efforts are on to set up the first “Human Urine Bank” in a place called Musiri, 35 kms from Tiruchenapalli. This is a joint initiative of the Indian Institute of Technology, New Delhi and Society for Community Organization and People's Education (SCOPE).

Benefits of a bank are
  1. We should be able to deposit
  2. We should be able to grow our deposits through interest
  3. We should be able to withdraw our deposits when we need it
  4. We should be able to take a loan

Applying the same benefits of the bank on this unique “Urine bank

  1. We should be able to deposit our urine
  2. We should be able to grow our urine through interest
  3. We should be able to withdraw our urine when we need it
  4. We should be able to loan urine

We Indians are known to follow the traditions of our ancestors. Even today we respect our ancestors and follow their tradition of urinating in open air. However, with the opening of Urine banks there is danger that this tradition might disappear. We might end up having deposit ATMs. People may be able to quickly visit these ATMs to deposit their “WEALTH”. Its not clear at this stage if withdrawal is possible from these ATMs.

It would be good to see how the interest component would work out.
We should soon look forward to many nationalized banks.
  1. State bank of Urine
  2. Central Bank of Urine
  3. Industrial Urine development bank
  4. Canara Urine bank
  5. Federal Urine bank
  6. Punjab Urine bank
  7. Oriental Bank of Urine
  8. Syndicate Urine Bank
  9. Indian Overseas Urine bank
  10. Vijaya Urine Bank
 
There should soon be an influx of many Multinational banks.
  1. Citi-urine
  2. ICIC-U
  3. U-HDFC
  4. ABN Urine Bank
  5. American Express Urine
  6. Hongkong & Shanghai Urine Corportation

This new banking phenomenon is sure to create a worldwide revolution. It would mark the end of an era for human generosity of water trees, curing of walls or quenching thirst of mother earth with our urine.

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Wednesday, February 16, 2011

While I was away...


It’s been 3 month hibernation. My last post was on 24th November. I have been wanting to write for a while. But some unknown authority stopped me from doing it. For a while I thought it was laziness, then for another while I thought it was boredom, then I decided it was lack of time. I spent quite a bit of time scratching parts of my body which I would not like to mention here, while I was thinking of an actual reason due to which I am not writing. Then I realized that there is no point of wanting to write. It does not happen unless you put it into action. Its like quitting smoking or using a condom. It does not happen unless you do it. So here it is.. I have decided to use a condom.. i mean.. I have decided to write. 

While I was away
  1. I may have been laying eggs
  2. I may have been kidnapped by ETs
  3. I may have gone on an expedition to the moon
  4. I may have been holidaying in Antartica
  5. I may have swam across the Indian ocean
  6. I may have been on a spiritual trip to Himalayas
  7. I may have been searching for moksha with help from Nityananda’s Ranjitha
  8. I may have been shooting for an Hollywood movie with Julia Roberts
  9. I may have gone on a rejuvenation trip to Hawaii
  10. I may have lost my senses after watching “Ram Gopal Varma ki Arse” (sorry Aag)

It is not necessary that I may have done any of the above in isolation. I may have done groups of these. I may have done all of these. I will leave it to you to contemplate.

Before I sign off, I want to give you small snippets of one of my favorite topic.. Yuddy







 So long.. before I come back with my next rambling.