Monday, October 25, 2010

Dimaak ki bathi Jala de

Bangalore has been the IT capital of India. Much of this growth is due to availability of talent in Bangalore. Each year thousands of engineers and MBA grads are being manufactured in our education factory. A major percentage of this talent pool is exceptionally talented individuals. 


Scientists from the “Kingfisher International Scientific Society (KISS)” attribute this talent pool to BEER. It’s already a well-known fact that
Bangalore is the “Beer capital of India” and this also produces the largest number of intellect. They have established a relationship with increased brain capability and beer guzzling. They plan to do a retrospective study on Einstein to confirm this relationship.

A survey was conducted by the “Royal Challenge Beer Mapping Institute of India” at The Great Indian October Fest at Bangalore. This crowd comprised of the majority of the talent pool of Bangalore. Undeniably, the best part of Kingfisher Premium Great Indian October Fest was the continuous flow of Kingfisher draught straight from the breweries to the stalls. Thousands of people swung to the music, Kingfisher beer in hand. This survey has brought out a clear relationship between beer and talent.

‘KISS’ scientists have put up a theory that beer is increasing neural and intellectual capacity of the brain cells. Years of scientific studies have shown that the Yeast used in manufacturing beer releases a chemical compound called ‘Dumbesterone”. This compound triggers the learning centre of the brain resulting in the increased intellectual capacity.

But a recent revelation has shocked the scientists worldwide. This could well be the biggest piece of scientific information known to modern world.
 
Newspaper reports have revealed the biggest secret of the world. Bangalore thrives on Donkey’s milk. There is a huge demand to feed babies with donkey’s milk. A sum of Rs 100 or even Rs 200 for fresh 50ml of donkey's milk. The age-old business quietly thrives in many parts of this hi-tech city. 

Some families have been surviving on the donkey business for generations now. P Puttaraju says his grandfather started it. Today, Puttaraju is a key dealer operating across Bangalore. He also supplies donkeys to other milk dealers. 

He has a roaring business though with no fixed regular customers or regular timings. The donkeys in his crude office space keep increasing in numbers. Presently, he has 20 donkeys. The latest addition was a white donkey from Kurnool with her two-month infant. "Sometimes, I receive calls at 1am asking if there's immediate stock. Once, a family landed here at 6am with a one-day-old baby. They wanted at least 5 ml for their baby” Puttaraju said.

BBMP joint director (animal husbandry) Pervez Ahmed Piran (also a dairy expert) confirms about the value of donkey's milk. "I am not too sure about the popularity of the milk but it is definitely as good as human milk in terms of composition. But the effects are way better than human milk,'' he says. 

"We really get donkey milk? I didn't know about it. If it was so good and so ancient a practice, all pediatricians in the city should start recommending it.” says a reputed gynecologist. She expressed deep regret that her parents failed to give her this nature’s wonder.

"The benefits are not scientifically proven. However, it surely has higher protein content than human milk,'' says another senior pediatrician who himself is an output of this nature’s wonder.  

Most great personalities have drunk donkey’s milk at some point during their childhood. Till date, donkeys have been identified with idiocy. But after this revelation, donkeys would be identified with the brightest minds known to mankind.

4 comments:

  1. Donkey milk! yikeesssssssssssss

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  2. Don't know about donkey milk but beer surely makes a man intelligent. a beer a day keep dumbness away.

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  3. Octoberfest: Well worth the 400 bucks spent. pity beer got over before night ended. waiting for it to come back again

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